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Fear of the Dark

ANXIETY AND WORRY

How much time do you spend each day worrying about tomorrow? I think it is a fair estimate that many folks spend lots and lots of time projecting what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. Webster defines anxiety as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” Does this definition describe you at all? I know that there was a time in my life that it described me: worry about how I would ever kick my drug and alcohol problem, worry about how I would pay my bills, where I would work, where I would live and how I would eat. I worried about sick family members, what people thought of me, and where my life was going. I worried about everything. I trusted no one, had zero faith, and certainly did not believe in any kind of God. I believed in lack, fear, and pain. Crazy, isn’t it? Maybe not. I am a firm supporter of the belief that most of human suffering can be traced back to FEAR. Fear of what might or could happen. Fear of not having enough – money, power, possessions, friends, freedom, or losing something we already possess – and so on. In a word, FEAR OF AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE.


I think that in today’s day and age we are conditioned to be afraid. Click on the news and what do you find? Headline stories about gang and school shootings, plant closings and unemployment rates, war, disease, accidents, rape, murder, robbery and rising gas prices. The commercials during your favorite news program are certainly no better. It seems that we are force fed information about buying more insurance – home, life, or automotive – for what just might happen. Buy more insurance just to be safe, because the end is probably near (or so we are led to believe). We watch countless commercials on how to get rich quick – most of which are quite comical – so that we can become instantly financially secure. Have you seen the one that promises to make you a millionaire in 90 days by selling real estate? All you must do is purchase such and such book; such and such CD (for a few hundred dollars) and you can almost instantly change the state of your financial wellbeing. Seems too good to be true, doesn’t it? I will let you be the judge of that one. How about all the commercials about weight loss? Are you worried that your health isn’t up to par, and you’ve decided to do something about it? If that is so, there is certainly a magic pill or some vibrating gizmo that you wrap around your midsection that will melt away the excess fat. What about all the commercials that force feed us the notion that we need a pill for everything? If you are worried, take this pill. If you are depressed, take that pill. If you have issues with your “male hardware” and want to be more intimate with your partner, take a pill for that, too. You wouldn’t want your spouse or loved to see you as human as and less than perfect would you? Heavens no!


While I am an advocate for mental health treatment and I do believe that some individuals do need pharmaceutical assistance for some mental health disorders – let’s say clinical depression and anxiety – I am also an advocate for the notion that a large number of the people who are on medication for anxiety probably do not even need it. It becomes a crutch for not dealing with life on life’s terms. Instead of facing problems head on, we have been bred to just take a pill. In the coming weeks and months, I will be discussing just what you can do in order to overcome your fears the right way. It will require a great amount of faith, trust and hard work…but these personal investments far outweigh the other option: CONTINUING TO BE AFRAID. Thank you for reading. Keep Chopping Wood & Carrying Water.


~Paul

I welcome you to explore my book or various social media projects. Once again, thank you for reading.





http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE


http://freedomthroughchange.com/


https://twitter.com/Choppingwood76


http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953


https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

The inner world of thought

This one is for you, Mikey. You can't see what's ahead for a reason. God has a plan and all you must do is trust Him.

This is a reading from my book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One day at a time

“Garbage in, garbage out!” - Unknown

I love to ride my motorcycle. I pack up and get out of town as often as I can. I love the wind in my face, the bugs in my teeth, and the smells, sights, and sounds you can only experience on two wheels. Part of being on the road is eating out excessively. A greasy sausage biscuit for breakfast, untold numbers of energy drinks and protein bars, hamburgers and French fries for lunch, and maybe a pizza for dinner. Granted, I could eat a much healthier diet on the road if I chose to, but part of the fun of being on the road is hitting all the little restaurants along the way.

After a few days of eating a fast-food diet, I tend to feel bloated, lethargic, and generally unhealthy. I get heartburn, I am tired and I feel weak. I am feeling bad physically because of the food I have been putting into my body – eat like crap, feel like crap. That is about as simple as it gets. Once I am home from a trip, I immediately get back to my normal diet. I eat fairly healthy – lots of chicken, beef, vegetables, and good carbohydrates. I like to lift weights, and as my good friend always reminds me, “muscle is made in the kitchen, not the gym!” How true. After a few days of eating right, my body begins to feel normal again. My energy levels come back, I am able to concentrate more, and I even sleep better. I start to feel better mentally just because I’m eating better. Eat well, feel well. Again, a simple concept.

Take out your thought log from yesterday and place it in front of you. Imagine that your thoughts are food. Take a careful look at your thought diet – what did you feed yourself yesterday? Did you have resentment for breakfast, worry for lunch, and self-condemnation for dinner? What did you snack on between meals? Guilt? Shame? Remorse? Take a very careful look at what your thought diet consisted of these last 24 hours. If you are wondering why you have been feeling defeated, depressed, worried, and hopeless, just take a look at what you’ve been feeding your brain! Garbage in, garbage out. What we habitually think about eventually manifests in our lives.

Referring to your thought log, take a highlighter and mark every self-defeating, negative, or worrisome thought from yesterday. Now create an alternate thought to replace the negative thought. For example: if you have highlighted “I am stuck in a dead end job” or “I never have enough money” or “I am never going to find that special someone to spend my life with”, I want you to completely change the theme of your thinking, and this is how: for every negative thought, think of something that is true and applies to your situation. If you have highlighted “I am never going to find that special someone to spend my life with”, it is no use to think “I am going to find that special someone today” if you are not prepared to take certain steps. You might consider thinking “Today is the day that I am going to talk to that certain someone at the office, at the coffee shop, or in line at the grocery store…I am going to start with saying hello, and take it from there…” If you highlighted “I am working a dead end job”, you might replace that thought with “Today I will apply to a job that will be more fulfilling, or research college courses to further my job opportunities.” These types of thoughts take you from being a victim to taking control over the areas of your life which you can.

The crux of these exercises is that you must be willing to take action on these thoughts. On a 3x5 index card, write down the thoughts you want to think today (yes, you can choose what you think about - even if you are still having doubts, do it anyway.) Keep the card somewhere you can reference it throughout the day (I keep mine in my wallet.) Refer to this index card a minimum of 10, 20, 30 or 40 times a day and remember – what you feed your brain you will begin to experience in your reality. This may not happen overnight, but nothing worth doing ever does. Keep this practice up for the rest of the day, and I can guarantee you will begin to see life like you have never seen it before. After a week of changing the thought-food you feed your mentality, you will feel even better, and after a few weeks, this manner of thinking will become a habit. You will begin to know a new freedom, your reality will change, and you will begin to know a way of life that you once thought impossible. Keep chopping wood and carrying water. Do the work of changing your thoughts. Just for today.

The idea of a mental diet is certainly not new. For the vast majority of my own life I often chased happiness with no real success. It was a slippery, elusive feeling that I just could not seem to wrap my head around. It was not until I read the following passage from Emmet Fox's book The Sermon on the Mount that happiness seemed within my reach. What I had been missing all my life was the realization that happiness is an INSIDE JOB and cannot be found from anything outside myself. IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE that what we think manifests itself in our reality. Remember: GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT. Never forget this. Enough rambling, and on to the message from Mr. Fox:

The outer world, far from being the prison of circumstances that it is commonly supposed to be, has actually no character whatsoever of its own, either good or bad. It has only the character that we give to it by our own thinking. It is naturally plastic to our thought, and this is so, whether we know it or not, and whether we wish it or not. All day long the thoughts that occupy your mind, your Secret Place, as Jesus calls it, are molding your destiny for good or evil; in fact, the truth is that the whole of our life's experience is but the outer expression of inner thought...

I have learned that I can be happy anywhere and at any time I choose. It is a choice - and one I must make daily. I encourage you to do the same. Life may not be perfect and it may not make sense...but you CAN be happy if you focus on WHAT IS GOOD, WHAT IS WORKING, and keep your mind focused ON THE PRESENT. 

Happy trails to my brother as he begins a new chapter of his life. Remember: Things are going just as God has intended them to go. Hold on, say your prayers and just do your best.

Here is a link to the book:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

Sought through prayer and meditation...

“Rich people have small T.V.s and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big T.V.s” – Zig Ziglar

I am not entirely sure what the famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar meant when he said this, but when I recite it to myself I can think about this statement in several ways. The quotation might suggest that rich people might be more educated than poor people. This is sometimes true, I suppose. Mr. Ziglar might also be speaking about the accumulation of knowledge as the path towards financial well-being. Again, this is might be true in some, possibly even most, cases. It is true that reading and studying can yield an education. It is also true than an education can lead to a better paying job and more financial security. However, the primary meaning I take from Mr. Ziglar’s words is this: people that are “rich” are rich in faith, spirit and knowledge. People that are “poor” are poor in faith, spirit and knowledge. Being rich does not necessarily mean financially rich and being poor does not necessarily mean financially poor.

The Holy Bible speaks many times about being rich in spiritual, heavenly things, not material things. This is just one example, from Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I like to think that Mr. Ziglar was referring to a spiritual library. This is something we all should have if we are truly on the path to a better, more fulfilling life. A spiritual library could simply consist of a Bible, a motivational book, a recovery oriented book, a self-improvement book, or a book of prayers. Remember what makes you what you are? Remember what defines who you are as a person and who you are becoming? If you forgot, here it is once more: You can tell what is important to a person by how they spend their time and what they make a priority in their lives. You can say that “God, faith, and working to become a better person is my primary focus in life”, but if you spend all of your time watching your flat-screen T.V., carelessly spending your money, hoarding your possessions, and generally living a life void of faith, God, and study, these things are obviously not as important as you claim they are. While I do enjoy watching T.V. on occasion, I find that I get the most fulfillment from studying spiritual things, meditating and praying, and trying to learn God’s will for me. Try it today. Turn of the T.V., and turn on your mind to the possibilities that await you through the study of spiritual things. As always, all you must do is begin.

EASY DOES IT...BUT DO IT!

Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Why not just sit back, relax and take care of whatever it is you need to do another day? You are probably just too tired, over committed and just have too much on your plate. You certainly deserve a break. Why not just hunker down in your favorite recliner, click on the ol’ idiot box, and enjoy doing nothing for the afternoon? While you’re at it, you might as well crack open a can of your favorite adult beverage and call the pizza guy. You work hard all week, after all, and deserve a break – don’t you? Remember that old commercial from a certain fast food chain? It goes something like “You deserve a break today…”, and you certainly do. Mowing the lawn can wait until tomorrow. Paying the bills can wait until tomorrow. Getting some well needed exercise can certainly wait, as can cleaning up the house, taking the dog for a walk (that would exercise, and you’ve already decided against that), visiting your friends, or playing with your kids. You are just too tired from working all week, aren’t you? Just feel how tired and stressed you are. Your tiredness is almost overwhelming, isn’t it? I bet you don’t have energy to do much of anything. Today might be a good day to not even leave the house at all. Why not just commit to staying in your p.j.’s all afternoon? Who needs to get dressed, anyway? You probably don’t have anywhere important to go, and even if you did, that is going to wait until tomorrow, remember?

Today sounds like a good day to just sit at home and call in sick to life. Remember, you have earned it. Nobody works as hard as you, and it is likely that nobody would really understand just how busy your life is. Shall I pass you the box of Kleenex? There there, it’s okay. It might be a good idea to get onto your favorite social networking site and tell your friends just how tired and overwhelmed you are. You could post something like “feeling tired and stressed…my life is sooooo hard, and nobody understands me!” I would highly recommend that you include in this posting one of those cute frowning or sad faces L. That way all your friends will “like” your status, and some of them might even comment on it. That way your bad feelings will be validated by others and you can keep on feeling sorry for yourself. You will feel much better after you have sat in that comfy fo-leather recliner, watched reruns of your favorite “Housewives” program and eaten and drank yourself silly. That way, you can go to bed tonight feeling guilty about doing nothing all day. I am certain that you will have trouble sleeping due to your excessive inactivity and feelings of guilt from wasting away the day, so I would recommend you medicate yourself with your choice of sleeping pills or sedatives of any kind to assist you in reaching REM.

Tomorrow will come and you will wake up groggy at best. Your belly will be filled with the grease, alcohol and sugar you consumed yesterday, so I would advise that you take a double shot of that chalky pink liquid. Your head will hurt, and your body will feel heavy from overeating and sitting all day yesterday, so it might be a good idea to take two or three pain relievers and wash them down with multiple cups of coffee, maybe even one of those high-octane energy drinks. You woke up late and are rushing to find something to wear to work, the less wrinkled the better. You've got that oatmeal and fruit you bought for your “healthy eating” kick you were on a few weeks ago, but you don’t even have the time to make a quick breakfast. That’s okay. There are plenty of fast food joints on the way to work. You can grab a double sausage biscuit, super-size it for a buck (what a deal) and get two hash browns and another large coffee. You can race through traffic while inhaling the bag of grease you just bought and wash it down with a cigarette. For added effect, you might try tuning your radio to one of those morning talk shows which relentlessly tear others down, gossip, and talk about how bad the government is. That will help to solidify your negative attitude for the day, and you can arrive to work (late) feeling extra critical about the world, the price of gas, and the 40 hour work week. You will be well on your way to living as through you are a victim of circumstance, the unfair rules and laws, and powerless to change any of it. Sound good? Okay. Keep living that way, if you choose to. That is your call.

If I have described you, (even a little) and you’re mad, I have done my job. I am happy that you are upset. As a matter a fact I am really happy. You don’t know me, but you are likely wondering why the hell I would take pleasure in a complete stranger’s pain and discontent. That is a fair assessment, I suppose. The reason why I am happy that I’ve gotten you stirring is this: Until you realize that the unhappiness you are feeling is YOUR CHOICE you will not change. That is a fact. Until you awaken your mind to the truth (and you just might have gotten a dose of it), nothing is going to change. In order to start making positive changes in your life you must first become so dissatisfied, so uncomfortable and angry that you DECIDE to do something different. And that is where I come in. In the following weeks and months I will be posting excerpts inspired by my new book, Easy Does it…but do it. These excerpts will be based on the 12-steps of recovery but apply to ANYONE wanting something better out of life. If that is you, feel free to subscribe to this blog. You are also free to read about my current book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time available on Amazon. I’ve provided the links below. Thanks for reading.

By the way – if you don’t like how you feel, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Best,

Paul

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953

Overcoming the wind

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." ~ Henry Ford

Maybe it's because I'm a born and bred Michigan boy, or maybe it is my love for all things motorized and mechanical, but I find incredible power in the words of the late Mr. Henry Ford. Did you know that Mr. Ford failed hundreds of times before achieving success with the Ford Motor Company? I wonder how he kept himself motivated when adversity and hard times struck. He was a visionary, an incredible thinker, and did not take "no" for an answer. Henry lived a simple life as a child, raised as the son of a farmer in what is now Dearborn Michigan. Even as a young boy, Henry was fascinated with all things mechanical. He built water wheels, fixed watches and was mesmerized by steam engines of all sorts and sizes. His parents encouraged his mechanical tinkering and told him that he could be whatever he wanted to be - as long as he was willing to work for it.

Think for a moment about the power of his simple words: When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. I wonder what might have become of the automobile had the young Mr. Ford given up on his dream of the "horseless carriage." The modern automobile as we know it might be quite different today. It might not ever have existed at all.

It is easy to give up when we seem to be working against the wind. In aviation, the wind equals resistance. There are four forces working against an airplane: lift, thrust,weight and drag. In order for a plane to keep on course (and stay in the air), the pilot must constantly monitor for changes in these four areas. This is not intended to be a tutorial on the physics of flight, so I will stop right there and ask you to just consider this simple concept: ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST THE WIND, OR WITH IT?

Often times life seems to be working against us.The wind seems to be blowing directly in our faces. Nothing seems to go right. The plans we make don't work out. We get told no when we with think we should be told yes. We often question ourselves and consider giving up - be that with a health concern, a new job (or lack thereof), relationship problems, financial issues, sobriety, depression, worry, or just about anything else. It is easy to throw in the proverbial towel and say it just wasn't meant to be...maybe I'm just not cut out for _______ (fill in the blank). It is all too easy to find a variety of excuses and justifications to why we cannot do a certain thing.

The problem is not so much the WIND, but learning to overcome the initial takeoff. Once you fight like hell and get to a comfortable cruising altitude, it is then just a matter of making minor adjustments to stay on course. It is the taking off that is hard. The rest is just monitoring all gauges, keeping an eye on the weather, and enjoying the ride. And so it is with life.

My best friend since childhood knows all about this. He began his journey into becoming a pilot when he was around 18 years old, attending college and working at a small airport. He would tell me how he dreamed of one day becoming an attorney, practicing aeronautical law and owning his own plane. Guess what? Today he is a successful attorney and he does own his own plane; not just any kind of plane, but a small one-seat acrobatic plane. He is one of those guys that does flips and figure eights thousands of feet in the air on purpose. While this kind of flying (or flying in general) would be way out of my own comfort zone, my friend tells me it is actually quite easy..."it's just physics" he says. According to my ol' buddy, stunt flying is simply working with the wind, not against it. He's told me on countless occasions that scariest parts of flying his little stunt plane are the TAKEOFF and the LANDING. Pushing his plane into the sky requires a measure of confidence and reliance on his equipment. He needs to figure out exactly what the wind is doing, rev up his engine and fight his way into the sky. Once he is airborne, he again relies on his own skills as a pilot, reads his gauges to keep him on course and uses the wind to his advantage.

He has told me countless stories about having a great flight followed by white knuckle landing. This particular plane of his does not allow him to "spot" his landing. In essence, he cannot see over the front of his plane because he is sitting so low in the cockpit. He must rely on his coordinates and his gauges, ever watching for the tiniest changes in wind. He tells me that "it's just a trust thing...I know my plane is mechanically sound. I know all my gauges work, and I know that the landing might be rough...but I know I will be okay if I just trust that all will be well."And so it is with faith in God that we will get to our destination, safely, IF WE TRUST HIM.

Here is what I ask of you today: DO NOT BE SCARED OF STRONG WINDS. THINGS ARE OFTEN TIMES MOST DIFFICULT IN THE BEGINNING. Under no circumstances should you ever give up. Keep on fighting the wind until you have come to the place where you want to be. Too many people give up on their dreams RIGHT BEFORE they have achieved a comfortable cruising altitude. DO NOT LET THIS BE YOU! Be inspired. Get into the business of living. Keep on fighting for your rightful place in the sky, then adjust accordingly. JUST FOR TODAY.

If you have enjoyed this post, I welcome you to subscribe. You can subscribe by entering your email or by clicking on the orange RSS button at the top of the page. You can also click the Google +1 button to follow as well!

Be blessed and keep chopping wood and carrying water.

~ Paul

If you would like to know more about the book that inspired this blog, you can click on any of the links below:

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953

NO EXCUSES!

“If you really want to do something, you will find a way; if you don’t, you will find an excuse” – Jim Rohn

I love this quote. This is the essence of either getting something done or finding an excuse to not get something done. The choice is yours. Yesterday was a big day in your life. You sincerely took one thing in your life you have wanted to change for some time, wrote this thing down, and decided how you would go about changing it by writing down action steps. You should feel accomplished, proud, and motivated. If you are not quite there yet, do not worry. Today’s exercise in change will help you get there, I promise!

Today we will take a close look at the art of excuses. Excuses are those little justifications and rationalizations that keep us from taking action in life. Consider the following statement closely: excuses are an attempt to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Say this to yourself again, but using an “I” statement: the excuses I make in life are attempts to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. What do I mean by pain? Firstly, pain is relative. Pain is something we imagine, and it exists only in the mind. I am not talking about physical pain. I am referring to something we believe will be uncomfortable in some way. For example: if you have decided to change your exercise habits in life and get into better shape, there is only one thing stopping you from doing so – your own justifications and rationalizations. The way you are thinking about exercise is all wrong. You perceive that it will be difficult - painful in some way, and your mind immediately devises a way to give you an “out”. It is all too easy to get off of work, grab dinner on the way home, and plop in front of the television to watch Seinfeld reruns. It would be more difficult to pack a gym bag and commit to going to the gym after work for an hour.

While going to the gym after work may not be actually painful, if it is not something you are in the habit of doing, it is minimally uncomfortable to change your routine. Humans resist change because it is uncomfortable. We like to do what is easy, and easy becomes a habit. Habits can be positive or negative. If I am in the habit of going home immediately after work, sitting on my rear end and doing nothing, I have formed this habit through a series of excuses. I have gotten into the habit of justifying and rationalize why not to exercise.  Do any of these sound familiar to you? I will start exercising once my work schedule slows down…I will make it to the gym for my New Year’s resolution (why not now?)…I will start exercising once my wife/husband does…I will start eating a healthier diet next week…I would start exercising now, but I’m just too__________. Read the following statement again: the excuses I make in life are attempts to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Write down in your journal what excuses you might be making to avoid changing the things in your life that you can. Think about these excuses carefully. As we discussed earlier in this book, wanting to change and intending to change require just one thing…ACTION. Benjamin Franklin said that “he that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Look at the excuses you have been making once more, and finally decide to expel them from your life. You will be pleased with the results. Just begin.

Feel free to check out the book that inspired this post at:

freedomthroughchange.com

Best ~ Paul