Kill your television

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” – William G.T. Shedd

Television is a formidable opponent, and it is one of humankind’s sneakiest enemies today. Untold numbers of hours are spent by people every day starting at an electronic box, watching images of other people participating in their life. With more cable channels than ever, it is quite possible to click on the old idiot box and “tune in” to watch people in all sorts of situations: a bunch of strangers living in a house together (we call this entertainment?); a group of people living on an island, attempting to survive (with film crews close by, of course); “celebrity news” type programs, which catch us up on the latest Hollywood gossip (who cares?); and my personal favorite topping the list would have to be the “police” type shows, in which millions of viewers can sit comfortably in their favorite chairs, sipping a cold beverage, all while watching complete strangers at possibly the worst moments of their lives. I have always found the “police” genre of programming to be a real indication of humanity today. We take pleasure – we even call it entertainment – to watch other people suffer. Watching women get beaten, children taken from their drug-abusing parents, gang members shooting at one another, and homeless individuals getting harassed for being homeless. It is all too easy to sit in the comfort of our own homes, eyes glued to the newest sixty-inch flat screen T.V., and watch life happen.

The lives we live have become too safe. Watching too much T.V. is not tuning in, it is actually tuning out. We have become a sedentary, complacent society. We have become too dependent on media to provide us thrills and adventure in life. It is a sad reality, but one that is true. Life begins right outside your comfort zone. Those seven little words are game changers. Do you like to travel? What about instead of watching endless hours of travel programming on T.V., you took a trip? Don’t have the money? Why not start small? You could go explore a town near your home, learn about its history, and maybe even chat with the locals. Do you like to cook? Or would you like to know how to cook? What if, instead of watching show after cooking show, you found a recipe and tried preparing it as a surprise to your spouse or best friend? Have you ever seen the countless “get ripped, get buff, lose fifty pounds in thirty days” commercials? What if, instead of watching other people exercise, you got up off your comfortable couch and got moving? Not next week, not as a New Year’s resolution, but TODAY. If you have become bored in life, it is because you have become too comfortable. If you do not like the way you feel, do something different. All you must do is begin.

CHANGE STARTS HERE.

Today you have a choice...

"The strongest principle of growth lies in that of human choice" - George Eliot

What an awesome thing. We have a CHOICE in how our day will go. I was once a victim of circumstance. I thought that only some people were meant to live "good lives", and I was not one of them. Through a series of "takin' lumps" (what I refer to as taking the bumps, bruises and the pain of life from thinking and behaving the WRONG way) I have learned the hard way that I DO HAVE A CHOICE, and so do you. Today will go about as good as you want it to go. You can be as happy as you wish to be today, or any day, if you DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. 

Happiness and contentment ARE choices, and ones that need to be made each and every day. Happiness is truly and inside job: happiness does not come from having money, possessions, a good job, being popular or from ANY external force. Happiness comes from within. Happiness is about wanting what you already have, being grateful for the little things, and living in the moment. As the Bible and any 12-step program tells us, life exists IN THE PRESENT. LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW. You cannot be happy tomorrow when it is still TODAY. You cannot be happy when___________ or when___________. In other words, do not put conditions on being happy. Putting conditions on happiness is like a dog chasing its tail...it never quite gets there, and drives itself crazy trying! 

Take an inventory of where you are RIGHT NOW, and think about what you have to be grateful for: your health, no matter how good or bad it might be, you are ALIVE if you are reading this, which translates to you having a CHOICE in how you spend your day. A choice in the thoughts that you think. A choice in what kinds of things you will do. You have a choice to either sit on the sidelines of life or get into the game. We are all here on loan...none of us know when our time will come. We can't be certain how long we have on this earth. It is up to us to make the most our of every single moment, following God's will, and just do our very best. 

This is one of my all time favorite passages from the Bible: 

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." ~ Luke 11: 9-10

Choose your attitude today. Ask the One who created you for help. Roll up your sleeves, sharpen you axes, and get into the business of creating the kind of life you want!

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Roll up your sleeves, sharpen your axes, and get to work

“Change your thoughts and you change your world” – Norman Vincent Peale

We have spent considerable time thus far looking at the way that we think. Changing the tone of your habitual thinking is the one thing that can begin to change your life for the better starting today. Life is pure perception. Shakespeare said that “nothing in life is good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Take, for example, the dreaded Monday morning. For years and years I absolutely hated Monday mornings. Monday mornings meant a return to the grind; back to work, back to dealing with people and problems. Back to fighting traffic, paying bills, cooking dinner, getting to bed early, and so on. As you read yesterday, if I attach a negative thought to some person, place, or thing, I will have a negative reaction emotionally. A negative emotion can only produce a negative action or behavior, and negative actions or behaviors will only produce negative results.

I challenge you to pick one part of your life today and work on changing the way you think about it. Remember this: WE ARE WHAT WE THINK. If I think over and over again, I love Mondays! It means the start of a new week, and a chance to work on becoming a better me. It means I have been given one more chance at this journey called life! If you begin to change the way you think about Mondays, or any other area of your life for that matter, you will begin to feel differently. You will begin to act differently, and of course the results of your actions will change as well. Think back to day two when you began looking at your thought diet. Carefully analyze what you are feeding your mentality. Are you feeding it jealous thoughts? Victim thoughts? Thoughts about lack, worry, or fear? What if you were to change the way you thought about just one area of your life, starting today, and changed this thought for good? Do you think you could keep this up for an entire day? What about an entire week? Try this exercise to help you: pick one area of your life you view as problematic and change the thoughts attached to it. I find in incredibly helpful to use sticky notes for this exercise. Write down alternate positive thoughts to replace the negative thoughts you have attached to this area of your life on several notes and place them where you will see them. It is helpful to place them in areas of your home, office, or car where you will be forced to look at them. I put one on the bathroom mirror, one on the dashboard of my vehicle, one in my wallet, and affix one to my computer monitor at work. Every single time that a negative thought pops into your head, immediately disregard it and think the positive thought instead. It sounds too simple to actually work, but it does! Try it today. All you must do is begin. 

For some more insight, inspiration, and direction, please visit my website. You can download my book "Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time" For free all day today. Roll up your sleeves and get to work!

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Thanks for reading.

Paul

"Expectations minus reality equals disappointment" - Dr. Randy Carlson

“Expectations minus reality equals disappointment” – Dr. Randy Carlson

If you have come to the realization that God is in charge of worry, and you are in charge of work, congratulations. You have made an authentic first step into living life on life’s terms, one day at a time. You learned yesterday that hardships in life are really just part of the journey. Much of human suffering can be traced back to expectations. Expectations for how things should be, how someone should treat us, how our children should act, how far in life we should be, how our finances, our health, or our relationships should look, and so on. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the last time you were upset. You don’t have to have been really upset, boiling over, or red-zone angry. Just upset. Think of why you were upset. I am not a mind reader, but I have a pretty good idea of the source of your disappointment: you expected something to go a certain way and it did not. You expected to be treated a certain way and you were not.

Expectations can rob of the current moment. They can keep us from living life to its fullest. After all, life is happening right now. This is it. This is what you have got, sitting or standing wherever you are, reading this book. THIS IS IT. Are you daydreaming about how your plans will turn out? My bet is that you are. We are all guilty of this in some way. Are you planning excessively for your future, and think that you have things all sorted out? I am sure that on some level, you do. What if your plans do not turn out the way you expected? What if someone you expect to treat you with kindness and respect treats you otherwise? If things do not go as you had planned, will it ruin your day? Will you secretly harbor resentments, and stew about what could have been how you should have been treated, or about how life is not fair? These are questions which should not be taken lightly. What if, for a change, you did not expect anything? I am in no way saying that you should not live your life with hope, passion, and faith for better things to come, I am merely suggesting that you attempt to get into the practice of NOT EXPECTING ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME. Surrender the RESULTS of your planning and hard work to God. Let him be the one who decides how things will turn out in your life. Expect that things will happen unexpectedly. Expect that you will find yourself in situations you never dreamed possible. Think of your biggest dream. Think of what it would feel like to live that dream. GOD IS DREAMING BIGGER. He knows what you need before you even need it, so stop worrying, stop expecting things to go your way, and accept life as it happens. Just for today. 

My book titled "Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time" is available for free download on the following websites:

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If you enjoy the book, kindly leave me a review, or send me some personal feedback! Thank you for reading.

Acceptance is the answer...

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”

-The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th ed.

Have you ever given any real thought to the above statement? As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us, acceptance is the answer to all of our problems today. Not some of our problems - not just our drinking or drug problems, or our problems with food, sex, gambling, or the internet, but all of our problems. Do you not think this is true? Think about this: are you where you want to be in your life at this moment? Are you living the kind of life you really want to be living? Are your relationships exactly how you want them to be? Do you like your job? How are your finances? What about your health? Do you need to lose a few pounds, quit smoking, or start exercising? My guess is that you are not exactly where you want to be in life, and this is why: you are fighting. You are fighting the fact that you dislike your job. You are angry at your spouse, parents, friends, or co-workers. You are broke, or you do not feel that you are earning enough money to meet your financial obligations. Maybe you have gotten a little thick around the middle in the last year. It is not your current reality which needs to change, but your level of acceptance. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” Referring to your lists of THINGS I CAN CHANGE and THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, take a close look at the areas of your life you are truly powerless to do anything about, THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE. Part of your unhappiness, depression, discouragement, and hopelessness is that you have been focusing your energy on things you cannot do anything about. THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOU MUST LEARN TO ACCEPT. Accepting the things you cannot change does not mean you have to agree with these things. It does not mean you have to like these things or believe that these things are fair. The goal is to move towards an attitude of acceptance - that is the crux of the whole idea behind acceptance, the key to happiness and serenity, and a stepping stone to a new way of life. Refer to your list of THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE again. Each morning, afternoon, or evening – better yet, all throughout the day – begin to pray for acceptance of these things. Ask God or your Higher Power to help you accept these things. If you are not quite there yet, ask your Higher Power for the willingness to accept these things. And remember, attempting to pray is praying. Expect immediate results if you are sincerely asking for help with acceptance. Keep this practice up for the rest of the day, tomorrow, and whenever you begin to struggle with acceptance of the things you cannot change. Get ready and roll up your sleeves, because the real work of changing your life begins on the next page.

I hope you have enjoyed the reading from my book:

Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at at Time

You can view more of the book, or download it for a minimal cost by clicking on the following address:
http://freedomthroughchange.com//

As always, thank you for reading. Keep chopping wood & carrying water...just for today.

Don't let the pond dry up...

The following is an excerpt from the book Chopping Wood & Carrying Water. I hope it makes you think about your life a bit differently...

“Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing” – Helen Keller

If you have put in the work thus far, you should be viewing yourself and your reality much differently by now. You have begun to look at your life differently in the past twelve days, and I hope by this point you are feeling better about where you are now and where you are going. Yesterday you examined your fears and limiting beliefs. We can talk all day, every day, about what we are going to do. I am going to go back to school someday. I am going to ask that special someone for their phone number. I am going to sign up for that exercise class. I am going to take that trip. What is stopping you? Maybe you feel that life has gotten a bit bland. Maybe you are thinking there has to be more to life than this. Maybe you are just plain bored and dissatisfied with the same activities, day in and day out. The problem is that you have gotten too comfortable with your current reality. When is the last time you tried something new? When is the last time you felt truly excited about something? If it is hard for you to recall ever feeling excited about your life, read on. If you are in a slump lately, read on. And if you simply want to challenge yourself to make your life just that much better, by all means read on!

Remember that the only thing keeping you from trying something new and making life a daring adventure is the way you are thinking. Starting today, ask yourself what parts of your life have become stagnant, and ask yourself what you can do, starting now, to change those parts of your life. Do you know what happens to a pond without a fresh supply of water running into it? You guessed it. The pond becomes stagnant, black, and begins to smell. Without a way for the pond to constantly replenish its fresh water supply, the life it holds begins to die. The pond begins to dry up. All living things need a constant supply of water in order to sustain themselves, in order to remain healthy and in order to grow. Does your pond have a fresh, healthy supply of water feeding it, or has your pond begun to dry up? What does you pond look like today, and what are you willing to do to change it? Eleanor Roosevelt said “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” So what are you waiting for? If your life has become dried up pond, if life has become stagnant, do something differently, STARTING NOW. All you must do is begin.

Have a blessed day. As always, keep chopping!

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If God is your co-pilot you are in the wrong seat. - Unknown

I hope this entry finds you well. This is an excerpt from my book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water. 

Day 16

“If God is your co-pilot you are in the wrong seat!” – Unknown

Any 12-step program involves an admission of powerlessness over one’s dependencies. On top of that, we realize that we are not the ones in control of our own lives. God is in control. How can this be, you ask? You might be thinking: I am in perfect control of my life! I am in control of what I do, what I say, where I work, how I spend my money, and how I spend my time! While this may be true (because God gave us free will, after all), you are not in control of outcomes. You are not in control of the future. You are only in control of what you think and what you do.

As you read yesterday, expectations can be a very dangerous thing. Expectations can cause unnecessary anxiety, worry, and disappointment. They can lead us to destructive feelings: anger, resentment, depression, anxiety, bitterness, shame, and guilt. If you have begun to realize that God is in charge of worrying about the future, and you are in charge of doing the work that must be done today, you are continuing on a path which leads to serenity and peace. I have often seen bumper stickers that read GOD IS MY CO-PILOT. While this is a novel concept, it is wrong. God is the PILOT, we are the passengers. Part of the problem with most people today is that they continuously try to manipulate the variables in their lives so that things can happen their own way. They think they know better than God, better than the One who created them. You have probably found in your own life that the more you try and force something, the harder it seems to get: be that with a relationship, finances, career, your health, or just about anything else for that matter. The bumper sticker should read I AM GOD’S CO-PILOT. When was the last time you flew on a big commercial airliner? Do you remember boarding the plane, walking past the pilot? He probably greeted you and said “enjoy your flight” or something similar. Once all the passengers have found their seats, and the stewardesses have done their thing, the plane is sealed shut and takes off towards its destination. You are putting your absolute trust and faith into a pilot you have probably only met for a spilt second, if at all. The pilot sits in the cockpit behind a locked door and has the difficult task of getting the passengers to their destination safely. The pilot has all the skills and expertise he needs, PLUS he has the coordinates of where the he is going, AND all the instrumentation he needs to help get him there. He does not need your help! It would be insane (and it would get you into all kinds of trouble these days) for you to get up out of your seat, go knock on the cockpit door, and ask “excuse me, Mr. Pilot, are you sure you know where you are going? Although I have never flown a plane, would you like me to take over the controls for you?” How often do you do this in your own life? When things are not going how you think they should be going, do you take back the controls of your life and start steering your plane again? What usually happens? Well, if you are anything like me, you usually end up in trouble of some sort. The “plane” of life gets off course, and things fall apart. Stop taking over the controls. Stop telling God what he should do and let him do his job. Trust God with everything, and he will get you to your destination. 

Please visit my website for more information on the book Chopping Wood & Carrying Water

http://www.freedomthroughchange.com/

Thank you for reading. 
Paul