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Fear of the Dark

ANXIETY AND WORRY

How much time do you spend each day worrying about tomorrow? I think it is a fair estimate that many folks spend lots and lots of time projecting what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. Webster defines anxiety as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” Does this definition describe you at all? I know that there was a time in my life that it described me: worry about how I would ever kick my drug and alcohol problem, worry about how I would pay my bills, where I would work, where I would live and how I would eat. I worried about sick family members, what people thought of me, and where my life was going. I worried about everything. I trusted no one, had zero faith, and certainly did not believe in any kind of God. I believed in lack, fear, and pain. Crazy, isn’t it? Maybe not. I am a firm supporter of the belief that most of human suffering can be traced back to FEAR. Fear of what might or could happen. Fear of not having enough – money, power, possessions, friends, freedom, or losing something we already possess – and so on. In a word, FEAR OF AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE.


I think that in today’s day and age we are conditioned to be afraid. Click on the news and what do you find? Headline stories about gang and school shootings, plant closings and unemployment rates, war, disease, accidents, rape, murder, robbery and rising gas prices. The commercials during your favorite news program are certainly no better. It seems that we are force fed information about buying more insurance – home, life, or automotive – for what just might happen. Buy more insurance just to be safe, because the end is probably near (or so we are led to believe). We watch countless commercials on how to get rich quick – most of which are quite comical – so that we can become instantly financially secure. Have you seen the one that promises to make you a millionaire in 90 days by selling real estate? All you must do is purchase such and such book; such and such CD (for a few hundred dollars) and you can almost instantly change the state of your financial wellbeing. Seems too good to be true, doesn’t it? I will let you be the judge of that one. How about all the commercials about weight loss? Are you worried that your health isn’t up to par, and you’ve decided to do something about it? If that is so, there is certainly a magic pill or some vibrating gizmo that you wrap around your midsection that will melt away the excess fat. What about all the commercials that force feed us the notion that we need a pill for everything? If you are worried, take this pill. If you are depressed, take that pill. If you have issues with your “male hardware” and want to be more intimate with your partner, take a pill for that, too. You wouldn’t want your spouse or loved to see you as human as and less than perfect would you? Heavens no!


While I am an advocate for mental health treatment and I do believe that some individuals do need pharmaceutical assistance for some mental health disorders – let’s say clinical depression and anxiety – I am also an advocate for the notion that a large number of the people who are on medication for anxiety probably do not even need it. It becomes a crutch for not dealing with life on life’s terms. Instead of facing problems head on, we have been bred to just take a pill. In the coming weeks and months, I will be discussing just what you can do in order to overcome your fears the right way. It will require a great amount of faith, trust and hard work…but these personal investments far outweigh the other option: CONTINUING TO BE AFRAID. Thank you for reading. Keep Chopping Wood & Carrying Water.


~Paul

I welcome you to explore my book or various social media projects. Once again, thank you for reading.





http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE


http://freedomthroughchange.com/


https://twitter.com/Choppingwood76


http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953


https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

The inner world of thought

This one is for you, Mikey. You can't see what's ahead for a reason. God has a plan and all you must do is trust Him.

This is a reading from my book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One day at a time

“Garbage in, garbage out!” - Unknown

I love to ride my motorcycle. I pack up and get out of town as often as I can. I love the wind in my face, the bugs in my teeth, and the smells, sights, and sounds you can only experience on two wheels. Part of being on the road is eating out excessively. A greasy sausage biscuit for breakfast, untold numbers of energy drinks and protein bars, hamburgers and French fries for lunch, and maybe a pizza for dinner. Granted, I could eat a much healthier diet on the road if I chose to, but part of the fun of being on the road is hitting all the little restaurants along the way.

After a few days of eating a fast-food diet, I tend to feel bloated, lethargic, and generally unhealthy. I get heartburn, I am tired and I feel weak. I am feeling bad physically because of the food I have been putting into my body – eat like crap, feel like crap. That is about as simple as it gets. Once I am home from a trip, I immediately get back to my normal diet. I eat fairly healthy – lots of chicken, beef, vegetables, and good carbohydrates. I like to lift weights, and as my good friend always reminds me, “muscle is made in the kitchen, not the gym!” How true. After a few days of eating right, my body begins to feel normal again. My energy levels come back, I am able to concentrate more, and I even sleep better. I start to feel better mentally just because I’m eating better. Eat well, feel well. Again, a simple concept.

Take out your thought log from yesterday and place it in front of you. Imagine that your thoughts are food. Take a careful look at your thought diet – what did you feed yourself yesterday? Did you have resentment for breakfast, worry for lunch, and self-condemnation for dinner? What did you snack on between meals? Guilt? Shame? Remorse? Take a very careful look at what your thought diet consisted of these last 24 hours. If you are wondering why you have been feeling defeated, depressed, worried, and hopeless, just take a look at what you’ve been feeding your brain! Garbage in, garbage out. What we habitually think about eventually manifests in our lives.

Referring to your thought log, take a highlighter and mark every self-defeating, negative, or worrisome thought from yesterday. Now create an alternate thought to replace the negative thought. For example: if you have highlighted “I am stuck in a dead end job” or “I never have enough money” or “I am never going to find that special someone to spend my life with”, I want you to completely change the theme of your thinking, and this is how: for every negative thought, think of something that is true and applies to your situation. If you have highlighted “I am never going to find that special someone to spend my life with”, it is no use to think “I am going to find that special someone today” if you are not prepared to take certain steps. You might consider thinking “Today is the day that I am going to talk to that certain someone at the office, at the coffee shop, or in line at the grocery store…I am going to start with saying hello, and take it from there…” If you highlighted “I am working a dead end job”, you might replace that thought with “Today I will apply to a job that will be more fulfilling, or research college courses to further my job opportunities.” These types of thoughts take you from being a victim to taking control over the areas of your life which you can.

The crux of these exercises is that you must be willing to take action on these thoughts. On a 3x5 index card, write down the thoughts you want to think today (yes, you can choose what you think about - even if you are still having doubts, do it anyway.) Keep the card somewhere you can reference it throughout the day (I keep mine in my wallet.) Refer to this index card a minimum of 10, 20, 30 or 40 times a day and remember – what you feed your brain you will begin to experience in your reality. This may not happen overnight, but nothing worth doing ever does. Keep this practice up for the rest of the day, and I can guarantee you will begin to see life like you have never seen it before. After a week of changing the thought-food you feed your mentality, you will feel even better, and after a few weeks, this manner of thinking will become a habit. You will begin to know a new freedom, your reality will change, and you will begin to know a way of life that you once thought impossible. Keep chopping wood and carrying water. Do the work of changing your thoughts. Just for today.

The idea of a mental diet is certainly not new. For the vast majority of my own life I often chased happiness with no real success. It was a slippery, elusive feeling that I just could not seem to wrap my head around. It was not until I read the following passage from Emmet Fox's book The Sermon on the Mount that happiness seemed within my reach. What I had been missing all my life was the realization that happiness is an INSIDE JOB and cannot be found from anything outside myself. IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE that what we think manifests itself in our reality. Remember: GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT. Never forget this. Enough rambling, and on to the message from Mr. Fox:

The outer world, far from being the prison of circumstances that it is commonly supposed to be, has actually no character whatsoever of its own, either good or bad. It has only the character that we give to it by our own thinking. It is naturally plastic to our thought, and this is so, whether we know it or not, and whether we wish it or not. All day long the thoughts that occupy your mind, your Secret Place, as Jesus calls it, are molding your destiny for good or evil; in fact, the truth is that the whole of our life's experience is but the outer expression of inner thought...

I have learned that I can be happy anywhere and at any time I choose. It is a choice - and one I must make daily. I encourage you to do the same. Life may not be perfect and it may not make sense...but you CAN be happy if you focus on WHAT IS GOOD, WHAT IS WORKING, and keep your mind focused ON THE PRESENT. 

Happy trails to my brother as he begins a new chapter of his life. Remember: Things are going just as God has intended them to go. Hold on, say your prayers and just do your best.

Here is a link to the book:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

Sought through prayer and meditation...

“Rich people have small T.V.s and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big T.V.s” – Zig Ziglar

I am not entirely sure what the famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar meant when he said this, but when I recite it to myself I can think about this statement in several ways. The quotation might suggest that rich people might be more educated than poor people. This is sometimes true, I suppose. Mr. Ziglar might also be speaking about the accumulation of knowledge as the path towards financial well-being. Again, this is might be true in some, possibly even most, cases. It is true that reading and studying can yield an education. It is also true than an education can lead to a better paying job and more financial security. However, the primary meaning I take from Mr. Ziglar’s words is this: people that are “rich” are rich in faith, spirit and knowledge. People that are “poor” are poor in faith, spirit and knowledge. Being rich does not necessarily mean financially rich and being poor does not necessarily mean financially poor.

The Holy Bible speaks many times about being rich in spiritual, heavenly things, not material things. This is just one example, from Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I like to think that Mr. Ziglar was referring to a spiritual library. This is something we all should have if we are truly on the path to a better, more fulfilling life. A spiritual library could simply consist of a Bible, a motivational book, a recovery oriented book, a self-improvement book, or a book of prayers. Remember what makes you what you are? Remember what defines who you are as a person and who you are becoming? If you forgot, here it is once more: You can tell what is important to a person by how they spend their time and what they make a priority in their lives. You can say that “God, faith, and working to become a better person is my primary focus in life”, but if you spend all of your time watching your flat-screen T.V., carelessly spending your money, hoarding your possessions, and generally living a life void of faith, God, and study, these things are obviously not as important as you claim they are. While I do enjoy watching T.V. on occasion, I find that I get the most fulfillment from studying spiritual things, meditating and praying, and trying to learn God’s will for me. Try it today. Turn of the T.V., and turn on your mind to the possibilities that await you through the study of spiritual things. As always, all you must do is begin.

EASY DOES IT...BUT DO IT!

Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Why not just sit back, relax and take care of whatever it is you need to do another day? You are probably just too tired, over committed and just have too much on your plate. You certainly deserve a break. Why not just hunker down in your favorite recliner, click on the ol’ idiot box, and enjoy doing nothing for the afternoon? While you’re at it, you might as well crack open a can of your favorite adult beverage and call the pizza guy. You work hard all week, after all, and deserve a break – don’t you? Remember that old commercial from a certain fast food chain? It goes something like “You deserve a break today…”, and you certainly do. Mowing the lawn can wait until tomorrow. Paying the bills can wait until tomorrow. Getting some well needed exercise can certainly wait, as can cleaning up the house, taking the dog for a walk (that would exercise, and you’ve already decided against that), visiting your friends, or playing with your kids. You are just too tired from working all week, aren’t you? Just feel how tired and stressed you are. Your tiredness is almost overwhelming, isn’t it? I bet you don’t have energy to do much of anything. Today might be a good day to not even leave the house at all. Why not just commit to staying in your p.j.’s all afternoon? Who needs to get dressed, anyway? You probably don’t have anywhere important to go, and even if you did, that is going to wait until tomorrow, remember?

Today sounds like a good day to just sit at home and call in sick to life. Remember, you have earned it. Nobody works as hard as you, and it is likely that nobody would really understand just how busy your life is. Shall I pass you the box of Kleenex? There there, it’s okay. It might be a good idea to get onto your favorite social networking site and tell your friends just how tired and overwhelmed you are. You could post something like “feeling tired and stressed…my life is sooooo hard, and nobody understands me!” I would highly recommend that you include in this posting one of those cute frowning or sad faces L. That way all your friends will “like” your status, and some of them might even comment on it. That way your bad feelings will be validated by others and you can keep on feeling sorry for yourself. You will feel much better after you have sat in that comfy fo-leather recliner, watched reruns of your favorite “Housewives” program and eaten and drank yourself silly. That way, you can go to bed tonight feeling guilty about doing nothing all day. I am certain that you will have trouble sleeping due to your excessive inactivity and feelings of guilt from wasting away the day, so I would recommend you medicate yourself with your choice of sleeping pills or sedatives of any kind to assist you in reaching REM.

Tomorrow will come and you will wake up groggy at best. Your belly will be filled with the grease, alcohol and sugar you consumed yesterday, so I would advise that you take a double shot of that chalky pink liquid. Your head will hurt, and your body will feel heavy from overeating and sitting all day yesterday, so it might be a good idea to take two or three pain relievers and wash them down with multiple cups of coffee, maybe even one of those high-octane energy drinks. You woke up late and are rushing to find something to wear to work, the less wrinkled the better. You've got that oatmeal and fruit you bought for your “healthy eating” kick you were on a few weeks ago, but you don’t even have the time to make a quick breakfast. That’s okay. There are plenty of fast food joints on the way to work. You can grab a double sausage biscuit, super-size it for a buck (what a deal) and get two hash browns and another large coffee. You can race through traffic while inhaling the bag of grease you just bought and wash it down with a cigarette. For added effect, you might try tuning your radio to one of those morning talk shows which relentlessly tear others down, gossip, and talk about how bad the government is. That will help to solidify your negative attitude for the day, and you can arrive to work (late) feeling extra critical about the world, the price of gas, and the 40 hour work week. You will be well on your way to living as through you are a victim of circumstance, the unfair rules and laws, and powerless to change any of it. Sound good? Okay. Keep living that way, if you choose to. That is your call.

If I have described you, (even a little) and you’re mad, I have done my job. I am happy that you are upset. As a matter a fact I am really happy. You don’t know me, but you are likely wondering why the hell I would take pleasure in a complete stranger’s pain and discontent. That is a fair assessment, I suppose. The reason why I am happy that I’ve gotten you stirring is this: Until you realize that the unhappiness you are feeling is YOUR CHOICE you will not change. That is a fact. Until you awaken your mind to the truth (and you just might have gotten a dose of it), nothing is going to change. In order to start making positive changes in your life you must first become so dissatisfied, so uncomfortable and angry that you DECIDE to do something different. And that is where I come in. In the following weeks and months I will be posting excerpts inspired by my new book, Easy Does it…but do it. These excerpts will be based on the 12-steps of recovery but apply to ANYONE wanting something better out of life. If that is you, feel free to subscribe to this blog. You are also free to read about my current book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time available on Amazon. I’ve provided the links below. Thanks for reading.

By the way – if you don’t like how you feel, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Best,

Paul

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953

Overcoming the wind

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." ~ Henry Ford

Maybe it's because I'm a born and bred Michigan boy, or maybe it is my love for all things motorized and mechanical, but I find incredible power in the words of the late Mr. Henry Ford. Did you know that Mr. Ford failed hundreds of times before achieving success with the Ford Motor Company? I wonder how he kept himself motivated when adversity and hard times struck. He was a visionary, an incredible thinker, and did not take "no" for an answer. Henry lived a simple life as a child, raised as the son of a farmer in what is now Dearborn Michigan. Even as a young boy, Henry was fascinated with all things mechanical. He built water wheels, fixed watches and was mesmerized by steam engines of all sorts and sizes. His parents encouraged his mechanical tinkering and told him that he could be whatever he wanted to be - as long as he was willing to work for it.

Think for a moment about the power of his simple words: When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. I wonder what might have become of the automobile had the young Mr. Ford given up on his dream of the "horseless carriage." The modern automobile as we know it might be quite different today. It might not ever have existed at all.

It is easy to give up when we seem to be working against the wind. In aviation, the wind equals resistance. There are four forces working against an airplane: lift, thrust,weight and drag. In order for a plane to keep on course (and stay in the air), the pilot must constantly monitor for changes in these four areas. This is not intended to be a tutorial on the physics of flight, so I will stop right there and ask you to just consider this simple concept: ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST THE WIND, OR WITH IT?

Often times life seems to be working against us.The wind seems to be blowing directly in our faces. Nothing seems to go right. The plans we make don't work out. We get told no when we with think we should be told yes. We often question ourselves and consider giving up - be that with a health concern, a new job (or lack thereof), relationship problems, financial issues, sobriety, depression, worry, or just about anything else. It is easy to throw in the proverbial towel and say it just wasn't meant to be...maybe I'm just not cut out for _______ (fill in the blank). It is all too easy to find a variety of excuses and justifications to why we cannot do a certain thing.

The problem is not so much the WIND, but learning to overcome the initial takeoff. Once you fight like hell and get to a comfortable cruising altitude, it is then just a matter of making minor adjustments to stay on course. It is the taking off that is hard. The rest is just monitoring all gauges, keeping an eye on the weather, and enjoying the ride. And so it is with life.

My best friend since childhood knows all about this. He began his journey into becoming a pilot when he was around 18 years old, attending college and working at a small airport. He would tell me how he dreamed of one day becoming an attorney, practicing aeronautical law and owning his own plane. Guess what? Today he is a successful attorney and he does own his own plane; not just any kind of plane, but a small one-seat acrobatic plane. He is one of those guys that does flips and figure eights thousands of feet in the air on purpose. While this kind of flying (or flying in general) would be way out of my own comfort zone, my friend tells me it is actually quite easy..."it's just physics" he says. According to my ol' buddy, stunt flying is simply working with the wind, not against it. He's told me on countless occasions that scariest parts of flying his little stunt plane are the TAKEOFF and the LANDING. Pushing his plane into the sky requires a measure of confidence and reliance on his equipment. He needs to figure out exactly what the wind is doing, rev up his engine and fight his way into the sky. Once he is airborne, he again relies on his own skills as a pilot, reads his gauges to keep him on course and uses the wind to his advantage.

He has told me countless stories about having a great flight followed by white knuckle landing. This particular plane of his does not allow him to "spot" his landing. In essence, he cannot see over the front of his plane because he is sitting so low in the cockpit. He must rely on his coordinates and his gauges, ever watching for the tiniest changes in wind. He tells me that "it's just a trust thing...I know my plane is mechanically sound. I know all my gauges work, and I know that the landing might be rough...but I know I will be okay if I just trust that all will be well."And so it is with faith in God that we will get to our destination, safely, IF WE TRUST HIM.

Here is what I ask of you today: DO NOT BE SCARED OF STRONG WINDS. THINGS ARE OFTEN TIMES MOST DIFFICULT IN THE BEGINNING. Under no circumstances should you ever give up. Keep on fighting the wind until you have come to the place where you want to be. Too many people give up on their dreams RIGHT BEFORE they have achieved a comfortable cruising altitude. DO NOT LET THIS BE YOU! Be inspired. Get into the business of living. Keep on fighting for your rightful place in the sky, then adjust accordingly. JUST FOR TODAY.

If you have enjoyed this post, I welcome you to subscribe. You can subscribe by entering your email or by clicking on the orange RSS button at the top of the page. You can also click the Google +1 button to follow as well!

Be blessed and keep chopping wood and carrying water.

~ Paul

If you would like to know more about the book that inspired this blog, you can click on any of the links below:

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

https://www.facebook.com/ChoppingWood76

http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953

NO EXCUSES!

“If you really want to do something, you will find a way; if you don’t, you will find an excuse” – Jim Rohn

I love this quote. This is the essence of either getting something done or finding an excuse to not get something done. The choice is yours. Yesterday was a big day in your life. You sincerely took one thing in your life you have wanted to change for some time, wrote this thing down, and decided how you would go about changing it by writing down action steps. You should feel accomplished, proud, and motivated. If you are not quite there yet, do not worry. Today’s exercise in change will help you get there, I promise!

Today we will take a close look at the art of excuses. Excuses are those little justifications and rationalizations that keep us from taking action in life. Consider the following statement closely: excuses are an attempt to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Say this to yourself again, but using an “I” statement: the excuses I make in life are attempts to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. What do I mean by pain? Firstly, pain is relative. Pain is something we imagine, and it exists only in the mind. I am not talking about physical pain. I am referring to something we believe will be uncomfortable in some way. For example: if you have decided to change your exercise habits in life and get into better shape, there is only one thing stopping you from doing so – your own justifications and rationalizations. The way you are thinking about exercise is all wrong. You perceive that it will be difficult - painful in some way, and your mind immediately devises a way to give you an “out”. It is all too easy to get off of work, grab dinner on the way home, and plop in front of the television to watch Seinfeld reruns. It would be more difficult to pack a gym bag and commit to going to the gym after work for an hour.

While going to the gym after work may not be actually painful, if it is not something you are in the habit of doing, it is minimally uncomfortable to change your routine. Humans resist change because it is uncomfortable. We like to do what is easy, and easy becomes a habit. Habits can be positive or negative. If I am in the habit of going home immediately after work, sitting on my rear end and doing nothing, I have formed this habit through a series of excuses. I have gotten into the habit of justifying and rationalize why not to exercise.  Do any of these sound familiar to you? I will start exercising once my work schedule slows down…I will make it to the gym for my New Year’s resolution (why not now?)…I will start exercising once my wife/husband does…I will start eating a healthier diet next week…I would start exercising now, but I’m just too__________. Read the following statement again: the excuses I make in life are attempts to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Write down in your journal what excuses you might be making to avoid changing the things in your life that you can. Think about these excuses carefully. As we discussed earlier in this book, wanting to change and intending to change require just one thing…ACTION. Benjamin Franklin said that “he that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Look at the excuses you have been making once more, and finally decide to expel them from your life. You will be pleased with the results. Just begin.

Feel free to check out the book that inspired this post at:

freedomthroughchange.com

Best ~ Paul

Kill your television

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” – William G.T. Shedd

Television is a formidable opponent, and it is one of humankind’s sneakiest enemies today. Untold numbers of hours are spent by people every day starting at an electronic box, watching images of other people participating in their life. With more cable channels than ever, it is quite possible to click on the old idiot box and “tune in” to watch people in all sorts of situations: a bunch of strangers living in a house together (we call this entertainment?); a group of people living on an island, attempting to survive (with film crews close by, of course); “celebrity news” type programs, which catch us up on the latest Hollywood gossip (who cares?); and my personal favorite topping the list would have to be the “police” type shows, in which millions of viewers can sit comfortably in their favorite chairs, sipping a cold beverage, all while watching complete strangers at possibly the worst moments of their lives. I have always found the “police” genre of programming to be a real indication of humanity today. We take pleasure – we even call it entertainment – to watch other people suffer. Watching women get beaten, children taken from their drug-abusing parents, gang members shooting at one another, and homeless individuals getting harassed for being homeless. It is all too easy to sit in the comfort of our own homes, eyes glued to the newest sixty-inch flat screen T.V., and watch life happen.

The lives we live have become too safe. Watching too much T.V. is not tuning in, it is actually tuning out. We have become a sedentary, complacent society. We have become too dependent on media to provide us thrills and adventure in life. It is a sad reality, but one that is true. Life begins right outside your comfort zone. Those seven little words are game changers. Do you like to travel? What about instead of watching endless hours of travel programming on T.V., you took a trip? Don’t have the money? Why not start small? You could go explore a town near your home, learn about its history, and maybe even chat with the locals. Do you like to cook? Or would you like to know how to cook? What if, instead of watching show after cooking show, you found a recipe and tried preparing it as a surprise to your spouse or best friend? Have you ever seen the countless “get ripped, get buff, lose fifty pounds in thirty days” commercials? What if, instead of watching other people exercise, you got up off your comfortable couch and got moving? Not next week, not as a New Year’s resolution, but TODAY. If you have become bored in life, it is because you have become too comfortable. If you do not like the way you feel, do something different. All you must do is begin.

CHANGE STARTS HERE.

Today you have a choice...

"The strongest principle of growth lies in that of human choice" - George Eliot

What an awesome thing. We have a CHOICE in how our day will go. I was once a victim of circumstance. I thought that only some people were meant to live "good lives", and I was not one of them. Through a series of "takin' lumps" (what I refer to as taking the bumps, bruises and the pain of life from thinking and behaving the WRONG way) I have learned the hard way that I DO HAVE A CHOICE, and so do you. Today will go about as good as you want it to go. You can be as happy as you wish to be today, or any day, if you DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. 

Happiness and contentment ARE choices, and ones that need to be made each and every day. Happiness is truly and inside job: happiness does not come from having money, possessions, a good job, being popular or from ANY external force. Happiness comes from within. Happiness is about wanting what you already have, being grateful for the little things, and living in the moment. As the Bible and any 12-step program tells us, life exists IN THE PRESENT. LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW. You cannot be happy tomorrow when it is still TODAY. You cannot be happy when___________ or when___________. In other words, do not put conditions on being happy. Putting conditions on happiness is like a dog chasing its tail...it never quite gets there, and drives itself crazy trying! 

Take an inventory of where you are RIGHT NOW, and think about what you have to be grateful for: your health, no matter how good or bad it might be, you are ALIVE if you are reading this, which translates to you having a CHOICE in how you spend your day. A choice in the thoughts that you think. A choice in what kinds of things you will do. You have a choice to either sit on the sidelines of life or get into the game. We are all here on loan...none of us know when our time will come. We can't be certain how long we have on this earth. It is up to us to make the most our of every single moment, following God's will, and just do our very best. 

This is one of my all time favorite passages from the Bible: 

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." ~ Luke 11: 9-10

Choose your attitude today. Ask the One who created you for help. Roll up your sleeves, sharpen you axes, and get into the business of creating the kind of life you want!

facebook.com/choppingwood76

freedomthroughchange.com

Roll up your sleeves, sharpen your axes, and get to work

“Change your thoughts and you change your world” – Norman Vincent Peale

We have spent considerable time thus far looking at the way that we think. Changing the tone of your habitual thinking is the one thing that can begin to change your life for the better starting today. Life is pure perception. Shakespeare said that “nothing in life is good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Take, for example, the dreaded Monday morning. For years and years I absolutely hated Monday mornings. Monday mornings meant a return to the grind; back to work, back to dealing with people and problems. Back to fighting traffic, paying bills, cooking dinner, getting to bed early, and so on. As you read yesterday, if I attach a negative thought to some person, place, or thing, I will have a negative reaction emotionally. A negative emotion can only produce a negative action or behavior, and negative actions or behaviors will only produce negative results.

I challenge you to pick one part of your life today and work on changing the way you think about it. Remember this: WE ARE WHAT WE THINK. If I think over and over again, I love Mondays! It means the start of a new week, and a chance to work on becoming a better me. It means I have been given one more chance at this journey called life! If you begin to change the way you think about Mondays, or any other area of your life for that matter, you will begin to feel differently. You will begin to act differently, and of course the results of your actions will change as well. Think back to day two when you began looking at your thought diet. Carefully analyze what you are feeding your mentality. Are you feeding it jealous thoughts? Victim thoughts? Thoughts about lack, worry, or fear? What if you were to change the way you thought about just one area of your life, starting today, and changed this thought for good? Do you think you could keep this up for an entire day? What about an entire week? Try this exercise to help you: pick one area of your life you view as problematic and change the thoughts attached to it. I find in incredibly helpful to use sticky notes for this exercise. Write down alternate positive thoughts to replace the negative thoughts you have attached to this area of your life on several notes and place them where you will see them. It is helpful to place them in areas of your home, office, or car where you will be forced to look at them. I put one on the bathroom mirror, one on the dashboard of my vehicle, one in my wallet, and affix one to my computer monitor at work. Every single time that a negative thought pops into your head, immediately disregard it and think the positive thought instead. It sounds too simple to actually work, but it does! Try it today. All you must do is begin. 

For some more insight, inspiration, and direction, please visit my website. You can download my book "Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time" For free all day today. Roll up your sleeves and get to work!

freedomthroughchange.com

Thanks for reading.

Paul

"Expectations minus reality equals disappointment" - Dr. Randy Carlson

“Expectations minus reality equals disappointment” – Dr. Randy Carlson

If you have come to the realization that God is in charge of worry, and you are in charge of work, congratulations. You have made an authentic first step into living life on life’s terms, one day at a time. You learned yesterday that hardships in life are really just part of the journey. Much of human suffering can be traced back to expectations. Expectations for how things should be, how someone should treat us, how our children should act, how far in life we should be, how our finances, our health, or our relationships should look, and so on. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the last time you were upset. You don’t have to have been really upset, boiling over, or red-zone angry. Just upset. Think of why you were upset. I am not a mind reader, but I have a pretty good idea of the source of your disappointment: you expected something to go a certain way and it did not. You expected to be treated a certain way and you were not.

Expectations can rob of the current moment. They can keep us from living life to its fullest. After all, life is happening right now. This is it. This is what you have got, sitting or standing wherever you are, reading this book. THIS IS IT. Are you daydreaming about how your plans will turn out? My bet is that you are. We are all guilty of this in some way. Are you planning excessively for your future, and think that you have things all sorted out? I am sure that on some level, you do. What if your plans do not turn out the way you expected? What if someone you expect to treat you with kindness and respect treats you otherwise? If things do not go as you had planned, will it ruin your day? Will you secretly harbor resentments, and stew about what could have been how you should have been treated, or about how life is not fair? These are questions which should not be taken lightly. What if, for a change, you did not expect anything? I am in no way saying that you should not live your life with hope, passion, and faith for better things to come, I am merely suggesting that you attempt to get into the practice of NOT EXPECTING ANY PARTICULAR OUTCOME. Surrender the RESULTS of your planning and hard work to God. Let him be the one who decides how things will turn out in your life. Expect that things will happen unexpectedly. Expect that you will find yourself in situations you never dreamed possible. Think of your biggest dream. Think of what it would feel like to live that dream. GOD IS DREAMING BIGGER. He knows what you need before you even need it, so stop worrying, stop expecting things to go your way, and accept life as it happens. Just for today. 

My book titled "Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at a Time" is available for free download on the following websites:

http://freedomthroughchange.com/
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

If you enjoy the book, kindly leave me a review, or send me some personal feedback! Thank you for reading.

Acceptance is the answer...

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”

-The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th ed.

Have you ever given any real thought to the above statement? As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us, acceptance is the answer to all of our problems today. Not some of our problems - not just our drinking or drug problems, or our problems with food, sex, gambling, or the internet, but all of our problems. Do you not think this is true? Think about this: are you where you want to be in your life at this moment? Are you living the kind of life you really want to be living? Are your relationships exactly how you want them to be? Do you like your job? How are your finances? What about your health? Do you need to lose a few pounds, quit smoking, or start exercising? My guess is that you are not exactly where you want to be in life, and this is why: you are fighting. You are fighting the fact that you dislike your job. You are angry at your spouse, parents, friends, or co-workers. You are broke, or you do not feel that you are earning enough money to meet your financial obligations. Maybe you have gotten a little thick around the middle in the last year. It is not your current reality which needs to change, but your level of acceptance. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” Referring to your lists of THINGS I CAN CHANGE and THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, take a close look at the areas of your life you are truly powerless to do anything about, THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE. Part of your unhappiness, depression, discouragement, and hopelessness is that you have been focusing your energy on things you cannot do anything about. THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOU MUST LEARN TO ACCEPT. Accepting the things you cannot change does not mean you have to agree with these things. It does not mean you have to like these things or believe that these things are fair. The goal is to move towards an attitude of acceptance - that is the crux of the whole idea behind acceptance, the key to happiness and serenity, and a stepping stone to a new way of life. Refer to your list of THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE again. Each morning, afternoon, or evening – better yet, all throughout the day – begin to pray for acceptance of these things. Ask God or your Higher Power to help you accept these things. If you are not quite there yet, ask your Higher Power for the willingness to accept these things. And remember, attempting to pray is praying. Expect immediate results if you are sincerely asking for help with acceptance. Keep this practice up for the rest of the day, tomorrow, and whenever you begin to struggle with acceptance of the things you cannot change. Get ready and roll up your sleeves, because the real work of changing your life begins on the next page.

I hope you have enjoyed the reading from my book:

Chopping Wood & Carrying Water: One Day at at Time

You can view more of the book, or download it for a minimal cost by clicking on the following address:
http://freedomthroughchange.com//

As always, thank you for reading. Keep chopping wood & carrying water...just for today.

Don't let the pond dry up...

The following is an excerpt from the book Chopping Wood & Carrying Water. I hope it makes you think about your life a bit differently...

“Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing” – Helen Keller

If you have put in the work thus far, you should be viewing yourself and your reality much differently by now. You have begun to look at your life differently in the past twelve days, and I hope by this point you are feeling better about where you are now and where you are going. Yesterday you examined your fears and limiting beliefs. We can talk all day, every day, about what we are going to do. I am going to go back to school someday. I am going to ask that special someone for their phone number. I am going to sign up for that exercise class. I am going to take that trip. What is stopping you? Maybe you feel that life has gotten a bit bland. Maybe you are thinking there has to be more to life than this. Maybe you are just plain bored and dissatisfied with the same activities, day in and day out. The problem is that you have gotten too comfortable with your current reality. When is the last time you tried something new? When is the last time you felt truly excited about something? If it is hard for you to recall ever feeling excited about your life, read on. If you are in a slump lately, read on. And if you simply want to challenge yourself to make your life just that much better, by all means read on!

Remember that the only thing keeping you from trying something new and making life a daring adventure is the way you are thinking. Starting today, ask yourself what parts of your life have become stagnant, and ask yourself what you can do, starting now, to change those parts of your life. Do you know what happens to a pond without a fresh supply of water running into it? You guessed it. The pond becomes stagnant, black, and begins to smell. Without a way for the pond to constantly replenish its fresh water supply, the life it holds begins to die. The pond begins to dry up. All living things need a constant supply of water in order to sustain themselves, in order to remain healthy and in order to grow. Does your pond have a fresh, healthy supply of water feeding it, or has your pond begun to dry up? What does you pond look like today, and what are you willing to do to change it? Eleanor Roosevelt said “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” So what are you waiting for? If your life has become dried up pond, if life has become stagnant, do something differently, STARTING NOW. All you must do is begin.

Have a blessed day. As always, keep chopping!

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Paul-Wolanin-Chopping-Wood-Carrying-Water/486490918114288

If God is your co-pilot you are in the wrong seat. - Unknown

I hope this entry finds you well. This is an excerpt from my book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water. 

Day 16

“If God is your co-pilot you are in the wrong seat!” – Unknown

Any 12-step program involves an admission of powerlessness over one’s dependencies. On top of that, we realize that we are not the ones in control of our own lives. God is in control. How can this be, you ask? You might be thinking: I am in perfect control of my life! I am in control of what I do, what I say, where I work, how I spend my money, and how I spend my time! While this may be true (because God gave us free will, after all), you are not in control of outcomes. You are not in control of the future. You are only in control of what you think and what you do.

As you read yesterday, expectations can be a very dangerous thing. Expectations can cause unnecessary anxiety, worry, and disappointment. They can lead us to destructive feelings: anger, resentment, depression, anxiety, bitterness, shame, and guilt. If you have begun to realize that God is in charge of worrying about the future, and you are in charge of doing the work that must be done today, you are continuing on a path which leads to serenity and peace. I have often seen bumper stickers that read GOD IS MY CO-PILOT. While this is a novel concept, it is wrong. God is the PILOT, we are the passengers. Part of the problem with most people today is that they continuously try to manipulate the variables in their lives so that things can happen their own way. They think they know better than God, better than the One who created them. You have probably found in your own life that the more you try and force something, the harder it seems to get: be that with a relationship, finances, career, your health, or just about anything else for that matter. The bumper sticker should read I AM GOD’S CO-PILOT. When was the last time you flew on a big commercial airliner? Do you remember boarding the plane, walking past the pilot? He probably greeted you and said “enjoy your flight” or something similar. Once all the passengers have found their seats, and the stewardesses have done their thing, the plane is sealed shut and takes off towards its destination. You are putting your absolute trust and faith into a pilot you have probably only met for a spilt second, if at all. The pilot sits in the cockpit behind a locked door and has the difficult task of getting the passengers to their destination safely. The pilot has all the skills and expertise he needs, PLUS he has the coordinates of where the he is going, AND all the instrumentation he needs to help get him there. He does not need your help! It would be insane (and it would get you into all kinds of trouble these days) for you to get up out of your seat, go knock on the cockpit door, and ask “excuse me, Mr. Pilot, are you sure you know where you are going? Although I have never flown a plane, would you like me to take over the controls for you?” How often do you do this in your own life? When things are not going how you think they should be going, do you take back the controls of your life and start steering your plane again? What usually happens? Well, if you are anything like me, you usually end up in trouble of some sort. The “plane” of life gets off course, and things fall apart. Stop taking over the controls. Stop telling God what he should do and let him do his job. Trust God with everything, and he will get you to your destination. 

Please visit my website for more information on the book Chopping Wood & Carrying Water

http://www.freedomthroughchange.com/

Thank you for reading. 
Paul

"Before Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." - Zen Proverb

Chopping Wood & Carrying Water. This simple saying is my own philosophy for a life based on faith in God and the 12-steps of AA, but a philosophy that applies to all individuals, recovering or not. "Before Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water" is actually a Zen Proverb which can mean any number of things, in my humble opinion. This is what it means to me:

The mere acts of chopping wood & carrying water suggest work. Hard work. If you have ever actually chopped wood, as I have, for any amount of time you already know that it is a labor intensive act. Chopping wood involves concentration (if you don't want to chop off a foot, toe, or hand), physical strength, and time. It is by no means a quick and easy process. It requires preparation and a sharp ax or splitting maul. I think of "chopping wood" in terms of what it might have meant 100 or more years ago, before the advent of modern furnaces. If one wanted to heat their home or cook, chopping wood was something that had to be done daily. Wood was the fuel used to keep the fire going - the fire that sustained life. 

Carrying water was also necessary. Today "carrying water" is a task that the vast majority of people would never dream of doing, at least in modern western society. In some places in the world, carrying water is still something that must be done every day. Just as wood provides heat, water is something that people cannot do without. It is a must have. I have the modern convenience of running water in my home. It is even "hot" when I want it to be hot, and "cold" when I want it to be cold. All I must do is turn the handle of the faucet and instantly - almost magically - water appears. I have water to cook, drink, bathe, and so on. I even sometimes use water to wash my vehicles and to keep my lawn from turning brown. I have to admit that I take it for grated most days.

To me chopping wood and carrying water implies work. Hard work. Work that must be done daily. Chopping wood and carrying water applies to my recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Chopping Wood and carrying water applies to setting and achieving goals. It applies to my relationships. It applies to the work I do every day with addicts, alcoholics, and those with mental health concerns. It applies to taking care of myself...exercise, eating right, and getting enough sleep. It applies to my relationship with God. It applies to everything. 

When I got clean from drugs and alcohol many years ago, I thought "recovery" would be easy. I figured that kicking dope and booze was all I really needed to do...once I was sober, I figured that everything else would just fall into place. I could not have been more wrong. Once my body had adjusted to living without substances, the real work of recovery began. The real work of changing the things that I could and surrendering to God the things I could not change. Sounds easy, right? Hardly. Recovery (and life in general) can be hard. It is supposed to be. Not hard in the sense that "oh...my life is so hard! Why can't life just be easy! Why do I always have to struggle?" Life is hard, and I LIKE IT THAT WAY! Life is hard but life is AWESOME, and this is why...

I used to think that everyone else in the world had it good. I would look at others smiling, laughing, and living their lives free of restraints. I didn't think that this would ever be possible for me, a guy who had always done wrong. A guy who had been in all kinds of trouble. A guy that had faced the demons of addiction, crime, and self-doubt. I discovered the true meaning of CHOP WOOD, CARRY WATER early in my recovery. I found that the harder I worked and the more I prayed, the better my life got. I chopped wood and carried water every single day. I did the things that had to be done in order to create the kind of life I had always wanted. Instead of lying around waiting for things to happen, I took action. I got up, got dressed, and gave every day my best effort. Chop wood, carry water. I dug a grave for all the bullshit excuses I had been making all my life and buried those excuses for good. No longer did I subscribe to the beliefs that had been dominating my life: You can't. It will be too hard. You're just not cut out for _________(fill in the blank with your own excuse.) I took action. With faith in God and AA, I began the process of changing the things I could. This was work, and it still is today. If I want to keep the life I've got, I need to work to maintain it. I have to keep my fire stoked and my bucket full. For me, this requires prayer, 12-step meetings, daily exercise, setting goals, and helping others. This also requires me doing what must be done -every single day - the things I don't want to do. I have to pay my bills, wash the dishes, shovel snow, do laundry, pick up dog shit (literally), take out the trash, and so on. A good life requires some measure of discilipine an hard work. A good life requires requires that I do my chores, tell the truth, and work my ass off. A good life requires that I chop wood and carry water when I'm tired, when it's freezing cold, when I'm sick, or when I would rather be watching football. If you take the four simple yet VERY powerful words: CHOP WOOD, CARRY WATER and apply them to any area of your life, you will be amazed at how your circumstances will begin to change. This is what I practice in my daily life. If I can do it, so can you. Keep your axes sharp. Keep chopping wood & carrying water.

If you would like to read some more about daily routines that can help you break out of the chains (excuses, rationalizations, and justifications) that have been holding you prisoner, click on the link below to read an excerpt from my book titled (yup, you guessed it!) CHOPPING WOOD & CARRYING WATER. You can also find me on Twitter, Facebook, and on my website www.freedomthroughchange.com 

http://freedomthroughchange.com/

https://twitter.com/Choppingwood76

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Paul-Wolanin-Chopping-Wood-Carrying-Water/486490918114288

Thank you for reading! Get chopping.

Paul

It is better to begin in the evening than not at all - English Proverb

What a powerful little idea: It is better to begin in the evening than not at all. If you are anything like me, you probably struggle with procrastination in some area in life. Life today seems to be busier than ever: work, kids, emails, laundry, cleaning, bills, and so on. These are the things we must do to just stay on top of things. Pretty status-quo stuff. What about the things that are not so common? What about the things that you have been putting off for weeks, months, or years?

It is easy to get caught up in a storm of excuses. It is easy to get stuck in the muck (and it IS muck) of complacency. If each day is feeling just like the last, if life in general feels boring, stale, and automated, it is time to make a change. Change is relative to each individual. I would ask you to take a few minutes with a pen and paper to list the areas in your life that have become stale. Boring. Status-quo. Ask yourself why this area(s) has become so predictable. Then ask yourself what you need to do in order to change this area(s) of your life. Honestly ask yourself what you are willing to do to change. Just because you know some area in your life needs a rework does not necessarily mean you are willing to make whatever changes are needed.  Willingness is the key that unlocks the door to action. What are you willing to do to make your life exciting, rewarding and moving forward?

The following is a reading from my favorite daily meditation book, Twenty-Four Hours a Day (Hazelden, 1975):

"I have gotten over my procrastination. I was always putting things off till tomorrow and as a result they never got done. 'There is always another day' was my motto instead of 'do it now." Under the influence of alcohol, I had grandiose plans. When I was sober I was too busy getting over my drunk to start anything. 'Some day I'll do that' - but I never did it. In A.A. I have learned that it's better to make a mistake once in a while than to never do anything at all. We learn by trial and error. But we must act now and not put it off until tomorrow. Have I learned to do it now?

I have written a little daily devotional book based simple, yet highly effective ways to break out of patterns of procrastination, fear, worry, and many other limiting behaviors. It is free today on the following websites. Thank you as always for reading my ramblings! Have a blessed day, and keep Chopping Wood & Carrying Water.

Paul

http://freedomthroughchange.com
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FIGADEE

There is no reality - only perception.

It is way too early for me to be up. 1:30 a.m. in Michigan, to be exact. My alarm usually goes off at 4:30; this gives me enough time to drink a cup of coffee, do some reading, get in a workout, and still get to work by 7:30. It's pretty early schedule, but one that suits me well. Staying on a schedule is good for me. Structure and routine is good for me as well. Today is different. I have been up since 12:30, doing my best to comfort our three dogs - 2 pit bulls and a doberman - during the thunderstorm that has been raging for the last hour or so. When it storms out our dogs whine, pace back and forth in the kitchen, whine some more, and sit at our bedroom door scratching and whimpering for my wife and my attention. Our dogs are not afraid of anything. Anything except thunderstorms. Each one of them has the soul of a lion in their own distinct way...whether that is protecting our home, my wife and I, or each other. They are the sweetest, most loving fur babies a guy and girl could have, but they are fierce when they need to be. I would take pity on the idiot that ever tried breaking into our home. Things would not go well for them.

I said that our dogs are fearless and I meant that. When they see or sense danger, they do not hesitate to go right into PROTECTION mode. Except during thunderstorms.  When it's raining and the sky is booming, our dogs look to my wife and I for comfort (and it is my turn, this time.) They get scared because they lack the capacity to understand what is happening. I am no doggie shrink, and certainly no Cesar Milan, but from what I can tell our pups are afraid because they can hear the loud BOOMS of thunder in the distance but can't see it. They can't tell where the loud noises are coming from. They fear that something MUST be wrong but they do not know what. Their little doggie brains must tell them "loud noise = danger" but they can't see the danger. They perceive that something must have gone wrong, something must be out there in the woods making those loud BOOMS and their response is to seek comfort from my wife and I. If I was a dog, that is what I would do, too!

Just like our fur babies (the term given to our pups by our dog sitter, quite fitting as well), humans seek comfort when scared or confused. When we can't see what's ahead of us in life, when we can't understand what's happening, why it is happening, or what the outcome might be, we panic. We worry. We stress. We worry some more. We drink, smoke, overeat, watch T.V. to shut off our brains, surf the net, and do just about anything to avoid dealing with life. We talk to other people and tell them just how much we are worrying, and how we wish we could stop worrying. We complain about the government, the rising costs of healthcare, the shitty job market, our finances, our relationships, and our friends and family. We want others to know just how bad things are for us, how much we are worrying and how anxious and stressed we are all of the time. A common one I hear a lot is "boy...there are just not enough hours in the day. Life is just so crazy! I always feel like I am playing catch up!" All of our complaining and moaning is actually a response to fear. FEAR of what we can't see, FEAR of what has not happened yet, or FEAR of what others are thinking about us. FEAR about if we will make it until our next paycheck. FEAR about losing our jobs. FEAR about a loved one dying. FEAR about dying ourselves. FEAR that we don't have JACK SHIT figured out, but we act like we do. FEAR that people will see right through our smokescreen of lies. FEAR that we will be found out to be WAY less than perfect. The list goes on indefinitely. Just like my puppies, people are afraid of what they cannot see. They are afraid of that which they do not understand. Make sense so far?

One of the most common questions I hear as a therapist is "HOW CAN I BE HAPPY, WHEN I HAVE SO MUCH GOING WRONG IN MY LIFE?" Great question. It usually starts off something like this: a client comes in for treatment. Their life has become dominated by substance dependency, worry, dysfunction, and unmanageability. Things have gone from bad to worse. They have often times lost their job, pissed off their loved ones, gone broke, their health has gone downhill, and life has generally taken a turn for the worst. Many of the clients I serve have lived very hard lives, have come from abusive families, and never learned the most basic of emotional coping skills. I will ask "what do you hope to gain from this treatment experience? How would you like to see your life change, and how can I help you make those changes?" Their responses 9.999 times out of 10 goes something like this: "I WANT TO BE HAPPY. I WANT TO QUIT DRINKING AND USING DRUGS. I WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. I WANT TO QUIT WORRYING SO MUCH."

What clients fail to realize (and it is no fault of their own - I used to be this way, too!) is that THEY ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING THEY NEED IN LIFE TO BE HAPPY. They've already got it, they just don't know it. My job is to provide clients with opportunities to SEE LIFE THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES. That's about all my job entails. I'm not in the business of "changing lives", as my buddies often say, I am in the business of PROVIDING OPPORTUNITIES for people to CHANGE THEIR OWN LIVES by changing the way they look at things. Reality is only perception. Say this to yourself out loud: THERE IS NO REALITY, ONLY PERCEPTION. You see what you want to see. You hear what you want to hear. You feel how you want to feel, all based on what you choose to believe is true and not true. What is the difference between someone who is happy and someone who is not? They way they look at life. That's it.

We can't predict the future, and there are plenty of things in life to be afraid of...but ONLY if we choose to live with an attitude of FEAR. What if, just for today, you had an attitude of faith? What if you slowed down, did the best you could with what you've got, and lived with an attitude of gratitude and acceptance? What if you told yourself "I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be in my life, things are going as planned, even if I can't see into the future. Things are working out behind the scenes...I just can't see it right now." What a difference this will make in your life. Try it. What have you got to lose? Don't stay under the covers, afraid of the storms in life. Get up, get dressed, and face the weather with the right attitude. You will be amazed how much better life will be.

Feel free to check out the links to my newest book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water:
HAVE A GREAT DAY! ... Unless you have other plans, of course! :)
http://freedomthroughchange.com/
http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/addiction/6953

Chopping Wood: There is no reality - only perception.

Chopping Wood: There is no reality - only perception.: It is way too early for me to be up. 1:30 a.m. in Michigan, to be exact. My alarm usually goes off at 4:30; this gives me enough time to dri...

And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today...Alcoholics Anonymous p. 417

I used to want things my way and ONLY my way. Before getting sober I thought that life was supposed to always make sense. I used to look at other people who I deemed "happy" and wondered what the hell they were doing to get that way. I used to think that I had drawn the proverbial "short straw" in life - drugs, booze, crime, and no real plans for the future. Every day was like the one before it. I woke up wondering where my next fix would come from, how I would make it through the day and IF I would make it through the day. I lived my life as if NOTHING was possible. Talk about hopeless.

Since getting clean and sober a few 24-hours ago, I am finding that life is just about as good as I make it out to be. I can choose my attitude by choosing the kinds of thoughts I choose to entertain. I can choose to focus on what is working in my life, what is good, what I am grateful for, and make the most of each and every day. ATTITUDE IS A CHOICE and one we must make each and every day. Part of maintaining a good attitude is accepting the things I can do absolutely nothing about. I have learned that I can't change other people. I can't change how they think, how they behave, or what they think about me. In fact, what others think is NONE OF MY DAMN BUSINESS! This has been a lesson learned the hard way. If I am constantly trying to please other people, that leaves no room for doing what makes ME happy. Live and let live, eh? Works for me!

Today I can choose to live with an attitude of ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance of the things that are out of my control. Acceptance of the fact that the One who created me already has my path in life all figured out. I just have to get up, get dressed, get moving, and do my best. Things have a funny way of always working out in GOD'S way. He knows better than me. When I play God and try to manipulate what will happen, what might happen, what could happen - and so on - I am playing God. That is a scary concept!

Today my first crack at authorship will be quite telling. I have made my book, Chopping Wood & Carrying Water available for free. I'm proud of it. I worked hard on it. I hope you take a minute to download it, check it out, and leave me some feedback. Maybe the book will get 1,000 free downloads, maybe it will get ZERO. That is God's business. If you are so inclined, here is the link. Check it out, click on the picture of the book and be reading in five minutes. Or not. Thanks either way!

www.freedomthroughchange.com 

Finish each day and be done with it - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think that most of human suffering can be explained in two very simple concepts: FEAR of tomorrow and REGRET for the past. What do you think? It is my belief that most people today are living in a fog of what MIGHT BE and not what IS. We spend countless hours planning for the future and put conditions on happiness: I will be happy when I get a raise. I will be happy when I find my calling in life. I will be happy once my bills are paid. I will be happy once I find my soul mate. I will be happy once I've lost some weight...and so on. We worry about tomorrow's problems before tomorrow even gets here. We think that we are the ones running the show, but this is quite wrong. GOD is running things. All we must do is get up, get dressed, and face life, ONE DAY AT A TIME. Life does not exist in the future. Life exists NOW. Life is happening in the PRESENT. One reason we are unhappy is because our minds are focused on tomorrow.

Many people also suffer because they hold on to yesterday. They worry that they said the wrong thing, missed an opportunity, or feel that they would have been better off had they been in the right place at the right time. Yesterday is gone forever. There are no rewind buttons in life. THIS IS IT, this is what we've got...TODAY. I personally refuse to take all the mistakes, misfortunes, and mishaps of yesterday into TODAY. The great thing about living ONE DAY AT A TIME is that each new day is a BRAND NEW opportunity to live my life the way that I want. I get a clean slate each and every morning, but I can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow and regretting yesterday. With one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, I am pissing all over TODAY.

Just for today, do your best to KEEP YOUR HEAD WHERE YOUR FEET ARE. If you are sitting in a meeting, BE IN THAT MEETING. If you are washing the dishes, WASH THE DISHES. If you are walking the dog, by all means WALK THE DOG. Get into the habit of being mindful of each and every moment. We are each given the exact same number of hours each day...how will you spend yours?

If you are so inclined, a portion of my book CHOPPING WOOD & CARRYING WATER is available at http://www.freedomthroughchange.com  This little devotional will be available for free this weekend. I encourage you to download it, read it, and give me some feedback!